First Date
by The Highwayman 2
Summary: After five years, the sequel to Newbie is up! Duke and Scarlett prepare for their first date, but not before Cobra steps in. Also, there may be more than one first date in the offing. Set towards the end of the first Sunbow season. Yeah, there's an OC.
1. Chapter 1

Duke looked at Scarlett from across the table. "Is this weird?" he asked.

Scarlett sighed. "It's not... *not* weird."

"So you feel it too?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"This isn't going to work, is it?"

"I'm sorry, Duke."

Regretfully, Duke said, "Well, then, we can always say we tried."

"That's what I was thinking. We can feel good about that, right? I mean, this was clearly a mistake."

"I agree. No more sushi in the mess."

Duke and Scarlett put down their poorly-wrapped California rolls and simultaneously pushed their trays away. "Clearly, the army does not know what to do with raw fish. Listen, I have to get back to the office," Duke said. "Are you going to be around later?"

"I am, as a matter of fact. Did you want to watch a movie, or -"

"Well, I was thinking we could actually, you know, leave the base for one night. You know, for dinner or um, something."

Scarlett smiled. "Conrad Hauser, are -" She was interrupted by a chorus of female voices from the other side of the mess shouting "We love you, Conrad! WOO!" She then proceeded to ignore them as she completed her thought, "are you asking me out on a date?"

Duke smiled. "I guess I am."

"It's about time. Pick me up at seven." She stood, smiled at Duke, and crossed the room to the source of the commotion. It had been nearly two weeks since she and Duke confessed their feelings for each other in a refrigerated meat locker, of all places, and she had spent those two weeks over the moon. Nothing could get in the way of her happiness... although the girls had certainly been having fun with her. Scarlett reached their table and immediately hissed at them, "You are all seven years old."

Lady Jaye, Scarlett's best friend and roommate, grinned. "Oh, stop. You can't even be mad. We'll be good."

Scarlett sat down. "Good, because Conrad and I -"

"WOO! CONRAD!"

"-DUKE and I are going to have a hard enough time making this work with all the frat rules we'll have to angle around without you guys acting like children."

"To be fair, some of us *are* children," said Cover Girl, still dressed in civilian clothes; she was on extended medical leave after the last run with Cobra had put her in the hospital. She was, however, in relatively fine shape and ornery as ever.

"Are you talking about me?" asked Cricket, the youngest and most recent recruit to the Joe team. "Don't blame me, Shana. I was led astray. I fell under the ministrations of these two and cannot be held accountable for my actions."

"Enough. Pains in my ass."

"I have an uncle Conrad," Cover Girl said. "He's eighty-five and he wears a bow tie to go to the supermarket every day. He's the most adorable thing you've ever seen."

"Is it weird that it's taken this long for him to actually ask to be seen in public with me?" Shana asked. "I mean, it's been two weeks."

"Almost feels like five years," Cricket muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Go on."

"I mean it. Allie," Shana said, turning to Lady Jaye, "when you and Flint started out, how long was it before he actualy took you out?"

"Well... not long. But remember, Flint isn't in charge. He doesn't have General Hawk breathing down his neck all day."

Cricket started, "Yeah, I mean, it's not like Conrad -"

"WOO! CONRAD!"

"Are you going to do that every time someone says his name?" Shana asked.

"Probably, until we get bored with it. But it's not like Duke can just slip away unoticed," Cricket said. "He's basically on call 24-7."

"I know, Mae, but still. I mean. I've had a great time with him over the past couple of weeks, watching movies and stuff, but... we did that before, you know?"

"Oh, noes!" exclaimed Cover Girl. "My ruggedly handsome, tall, powerful boyfriend is finally able to take time out of commanding his strike force! Oh! All my diamonds are weighing me down! Oh! What could I possibly do with all these lottery winnings? Woe is unto me!" She rolled her eyes. "Face it, Shan. You landed a good one. Stop looking for reasons for it to go wrong."

Shana looked embarrassed. "Am I being ridiculous?"

"Yes," everyone said in unison.

"All right, I'll behave. So how was Boston?"

Mae lit up. "It was great. I got to see my brother Jack, and Courtney got to stop a robbery by snatching the gun out of the guy's hands and clobbering him with it, and then my four-year-old nephew walked in on her in the bathroom three times. Good times were had by all."

Cover Girl played with her food. "That kid is a menace."

"That kid is *four*. He liked you and wanted to see where you were."

"How are you feeling, Courtney? Any better?" Shana asked.

"Much. I'm still pretty stiff, and there's some occasional pain, but I feel a lot better. Doc says I should be back in the motor pool in a couple of weeks."

Allie smirked. "Yeah, I can see why you'd be desperate to get back there. Always a bet, always a prank, always some insipid stunt going on."

Courtney lit up. "I know, right?"

*****

A few hours later, Courtney was in the living room of the apartment she shared with Mae, strumming idly on her guitar, and wondering, not for the first time, how Cobra managed to get half their insane ideas off the ground. Almost everyone else was out tending to Cobra's latest plot, which apparently had something to do with taking over a UHF TV station and putting on puppet shows or something. She was watching it for a while, and actually managed to get some perverse pleasure out of watching Destro try his hand at being the man of a thousand voices. As she watched, she realized she was thinking very seriously about getting up and going to the station, which she supposed meant that Cobra had some kind of hypnotic device at work.

Eventually, the signal was lost, which she realized meant the Joes had arrived on the scene and were stomping on Cobras. Soon, the door burst open, and a completely mud-soaked Cricket stomped in, muttering under her breath about Beach Head.

"I thought you were at the station," Courtney said. "What happened to you?"

"They didn't need me, so I stuck to the duty roster. I've just been in PT."

"Ah."

"It's raining."

"Yes, I can hear it."

"And the course got a little muddy."

"So I surmised."

"And Beach Head hates me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Yes, he does."

"Well, Beach hates everyone."

"If you need me, I'll be hosing myself off." As she stomped into the bathroom, the muttering continued.

When she could hear the shower being turned off, Courtney called out, "A package came for you. It's from your brother."

"What is it?"

"How should I know?"

"Go ahead and open it," Mae called from the bathroom.

Courtney opened the box and was face to face with... "An accordion?"

"What? Hang on." Mae padded out to the living room, wrapped in a towel. "He sent me my accordion? Sweet." She lifted the instrument out of its box and put it on.

"Are you seriously going to tell me you play this thing?" Courtney asked. A few bars of "Cold Slither" was her answer. "My God. When I think you've finally reached the limits of dorkiness, you manage to surprise me."

"Hey now. Don't mock. Learning this thing kept me out of trouble when I was a kid. I hated every minute of it but I'm so glad I did."

"But... really? The accordion?"

"Our landlord taught it. Jack got him to give me lessons." She started playing "Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam" as there was a knock on the door. "It's open," she called.

Shana entered, appraised the situation, and said "Well, aren't you a sight. You know what's fun? Pants."

"What?" She looked down at her dripping wet, towel-clad self. "Oops. Forgot." Mae went into her bedroom, playing "Hey Joe" as she walked.

Shana turned to Courtney. "I'm so glad she's not my roommate. She's going to drive you crazy with that thing. You realize this, don't you?"

"I'm already thinking about how I'm going to get rid of it. What's up?"

"I need your help. I have no idea what to wear tonight. How formal do I make this?"

"Do you know where you're going?"

"No idea. He says he wants to surprise me."

"All right. Let's go look through your closet." They turned to leave the apartment when Lady Jaye, in full uniform, came bursting in. She was panting, like she had been running flat out.

"Allie?" asked Courtney. "What is it?"

"It's Duke," Allie replied. "He's been captured by Cobra."


	2. Chapter 2

First Date - Part 2

Standard disclaimer - Hasbro owns G.I. Joe, and I don't. Alas. Please don't sue. I do own Cricket, however.

*****

"Ok, hold on," said Shana, somewhat stricken. "Let me think for a minute."

Mae came into the room, dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants. She saw the looks on everyone's face and asked, "What? What did I miss?"

"It's Duke," Allie said quietly. "He was taken prisoner by Cobra during the raid on the station."

"Again," Courtney muttered under her breath.

"What?" Shana asked. "What do you mean, 'again'?"

Courtney said, "Well, it's not like this is the first time."

"It's not?" asked Mae.

"No. This is, what, the fourth, maybe fifth time?"

"Are you counting the time on Space Station Delta?" Allie asked.

"Yeah. He'll be all right. He'll go a few rounds in the Arena of Sport and bust himself out like he always does. Or we'll go in and get him." She turned to Shana, saying quietly, "I promise, he'll be *fine*."

Shana looked miserable. "We were supposed to go out tonight."

"I know, honey."

"It was going to be really nice."

"It still will be."

Shana shook the fog out of her head and stood up. "The hell with this. I'm not sitting here and waiting to hear what happens. I'm -" She was interrupted by a knock at the door. The door opened a crack and Snake-Eyes put his head through. He waved hello to everyone in the room and entered.

"Did Jaye tell you?" he signed to Shana. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, she told me, yes, I'm as fine as I can be under the circumstances, and please excuse me, I'm going to talk to General Hawk about a rescue operation."

Snake cocked his head. "Are you sure your head is in this?"

She flashed him a look that should have withered him away. "What exactly is *that* supposed to mean?"

"It means you're clearly upset, which I understand. Running into this situation with your emotions running hot is probably not the way to go."

"Thanks for the concern. I'm fine."

"Obviously."

"Please let me though, Snake."

"Please just sit for a minute and -"

"You want to get out of my way."

"Shana -"

"Now."

After a fleeting pause, Snake-Eyes stepped aside and let Shana leave the apartment. After she had left, he signed to Jaye, "The reason I came was to get you and Cricket. Hawk's called for a briefing."

"What about me?" demanded Courtney.

"You're still on medical leave."

"I'm not sitting this out."

Snake looked to his left and saw a fruit bowl on the endtable. He picked up an apple and tossed it toward Courtney. It was wide to the right, and she had to stretch to catch it. Doing so caused her no end of agony in her midsection, and she doubled over in pain.

"I'm sorry, Cover Girl, but yes, you're sitting this out." Snake-Eyes then beckoned to Allie and Mae to follow him.

Allie turned to Mae and told her, "Suit up. Bring your bow."

Mae, who still had yet to learn sign language, wondered briefly what the hell was going on.

*****

Duke slowly opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn't. He found himself in what was unmistakably a dungeon, chained to the wall by his wrists. He could feel a heavy collar around his neck. The last thing he remembered was the battle at the TV station. It had been going well, and Stalker had managed to find and destroy the hypnotic device Destro had been broadcasting along with the TV signal. Then he remembered seeing a Cobra soldier come at him with the butt of his rifle; a quick feel on the top of his head found the spot where he'd been hit.

"Awake, I see," said a voice from out of the darkness. Stepping into the light, accompanied by a pair of guards, came the blue-garbed form of Cobra Commander. "We've missed you, Duke. It's been a while since you've been under our hospitality."

"I didn't care for the concierge service the last couple of times I was here."

"I assure you," the Commander hissed, "you'll be well taken care of while you're here. In fact, Destro's preparing the interrogation table as we speak. But first..."

Don't say the Arena of Sport, Duke thought to himself. Don't say the Arena of Sport.

"... the Arena of Sport!"

Crap. "You know, Fangface, I've had kind of a long day. What say we dispense with the Arena this go-round?"

"Come now, Duke, where's your sense of competition? Maybe this will help." He brought out a small control, and, with the press of a button, activated Duke's collar, sending thousands of volts screaming through his system. Every muscle seized violently, and it was all Duke could do to mumble, "Off... turn it off!"

"There we are. I knew you'd cooperate. Guards, lead him to the arena." Stumbling slowly to his feet, Duke allowed himself to be led away.

*****

"Dammit, Hawk, we can't just sit here!" Flint exploded.

"Easy, Flint. We're not going to do nothing. Breaker is triangulating the signal from Duke's GPS chip and then-"

"And then we tear Cobra's hideout to the ground."

"No. Not this time. I'm sending in a small force to get in and get him out. Get Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, and Stalker in here."

"Uh, sir, with all due respect, I don't know if Scarlett's the one you want to send."

"What? Why not?"

Flint hemmed and hawed a little. "Um, you know how there's things you don't want to know about?"

Hawk arched an eyebrow. "No, not really."

"Well, sir, um... Scarlett's not really got her head on straight when it comes to Duke."

Hawk stared at Flint levelly. "Scarlett is one of my most senior people. I trust her implicitly and I know that she'll let me know if she can't handle something."

Scarlett chose that moment to come bursting into the room. Dressed in civilian clothes, her hair in disarray, her feet bare, she had clearly come running over the instant she heard what had happened. She slammed the door behind her and asked, "When are we leaving?"

Flint said quietly to Hawk, "Now, when you say she'll let you know if she's not in shape to do this, did you necessarily mean she'd actually verbalize it out loud?"

Hawk said, "Take a seat, Scarlett. The briefing's going to start in a few minutes." Joes began filtering into the room. Most were clearly exhausted from the recent battle. Soon, Snake-Eyes entered and made his way to the front, with Lady Jaye and Cricket following him. Cricket broke off from the group and sat down next to Scarlett, heaving her longbow and quiver full of arrows on the table in front of her.

"Hey, you. How're you doing?" Cricket asked.

"I'm fine, Mae. I'm just anxious to get rolling."

"Okay. Now, how are you *actually* doing?"

"Don't you start with me, now. I'm fine."

"Okay. You don't have to go into detail about how upset you are."

"Thnak you."

"Chances are, however, I will keep pestering you until you do." That actually managed to get a small smile out of Shana. "There we are. Look, I don't know him as well as you do, obviously, but I can't imagine that Duke's going to be anything but fine. Everyone in this room cares about him and wants him to come back safely."

"I know. It's just... he's Conrad now." Her voice almost broke.

"I know."

Shana set her jaw and swallowed, hard. "The sooner we get him back, the sooner he can buy me dinner."

Mae smiled. "Imagine the dinner he'll owe you after this."

"I know. I might even get dancing out of it." She looked up at the front of the room and saw that Flint was looking at the two of them. She nodded to him, which he returned. He stood up.

"All right, everyone, listen up," Flint said. I've just gotten word that Breaker's fixed a position on Duke. Wherever Cobra's taken him, it's somewhere around here -" he pointed to an area on the map at the front of the room - "in the Desert of Black Fire."

Hawk stood up. "We're sending a small extraction team. It's too soon after the last battle for another full scale assault. I want Snake-Eyes, Stalker..." He took a deep breath before adding, "and Scarlett -"

Flint broke in. "And Cricket." Hawk looked at him quizzically, and while Flint whispered something in his ear, Mae had time to react. "Wait... what?"

Scarlett looked as if she didn't know whether to be angry or not. "He wants you to keep an eye on me," she said.

"Oh. Really? Huh. I can do that." She leaned back in her chair.

Shana rolled her eyes. "Don't lean back. You'll hurt yourself."

"Everyone else," Hawk continued, "will rest up. Good luck to the four of you. Wheels up in an hour."

The entire room let loose with a "YO JOE!" Naturally, this caught Cricket off guard, who fell backwards out of her chair, kicking her bow, which knocked into her quiver, spilling arrows all over her as she tried to clamber off the ground.

Hawk turned to Flint. "Are you really sure about this? Because I'm not."


	3. Chapter 3

You know the drill: Hasbro owns G.I. Joe, I do not. Please don't sue.

*****

To Mae's vocal displeasure, it turned out that the Desert of Black Fire was a thirteen-hour flight from G.I. Joe headquarters. She wasn't a huge fan of flying, to be honest, and the thought of thirteen hours with nothing to do did nothing for her. When she asked Slip-Stream what the in-flight movie was, she got frustrated when she had to explain that she wasn't kidding. She made the suggestion to Flint, who very cheerfully suggested in turn that she suck it up and get her ass on the plane.

It was astounding to Mae that such an enormous plane could still feel so cramped. She actually wound up stretching out on the floor, resting her head on her quiver; the benches were that uncomfortable. Stalker had pulled rank and sat in the cockpit, where there was at least some padding in the seat. Snake Eyes was meditating (or, as Mae suspected, napping) in the rear of the cabin, while Scarlett pored over reports next to Mae.

Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. "Hey, Shana?"

Without looking up, Scarlett replied, "Hmm?"

"What kind of music do you think Cobra Commander listens to?"

Still studying the reports, Shana replied, "70s boogie. I hear he's really into Three Dog Night."

"Really?"

"No, not really. I'm busy right now."

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm studying the satellite photos of the Desert of Black Fire, trying to make out Cobra's base and see what we're dealing with."

"And what are we dealing with?"

"I don't know yet. That's why I'm doing this. I know you're bored, honey, but I really need to do this."

Mae gave Shana a quick raspberry and played I Spy with herself. I Spy, with my little eye, something grey and boring and utterly devoid of anything to do. This plane? Yes!

Having stayed silent for all of fifteen seconds, Mae said, "Hey, aren't you still supposed to be on light duty?"

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be letting me finish this?" Shana said, not in an unfriendly manner. She put the maps down. "Yes, but my arm's fine now, and Doc cleared me for this mission. The idea is to get in, get Duke, and get out, and hopefully avoid any kind of firefights. And if we're going to do that, we need to find a way in. And in order to do that, I have to study these photos and maps."

"Can I help?"

"Honestly, probably not. You know what? Snake Eyes may have a deck of cards on him or something. Go see if you can borrow it from him."

Grumbling, Mae went to the rear of the plane, where Snake Eyes was meditating. "Hey, Snake Eyes. Are you sleeping?"

Snake Eyes shook his head no. He reached into a pocket and retrieved a deck of cards, handing it to Mae. "Did you want to play?" she asked. Snake moved his hands up and down, as if he were weighing his options, then moved his right hand downwards.

"Um... maybe later?" Mae asked.

Snake touched his finger to his nose, indicating she'd gotten it. "Okay. I'll let you get back to your nap."

Snake signed some more, presumably to impress upon her that he hadn't been sleeping, but Mae was already halfway down the cabin, preparing to play solitare for the next four hundred billion hours or so.

*****

After three hours or so, during which time Mae had not managed to win a single game without cheating, Shana got up from her spot on the bench, rubbed her ass to get some feeling back in it, and wandered over to Mae. "I need to take a break," she said. "I'm going cross-eyed looking at all this shit. Deal me in."

"What are we playing?"

"Dealer's choice."

"Go Fish it is." She dealt the cards.

As they looked at their cards, Shana said, "I've been meaning to ask you. How's it going with Doc?"

"Well, I haven't tried to stuff Clutch in a locker in a couple of weeks."

"I'm sure he appreciates it. But this isn't about whether Clutch is safe, it's about whether you feel better or not."

Mae thought about it. "Yeah, a little. It'll take time to work through everything, and I may never work through EVERYTHING. Doc's good to talk to, though. I feel like I can open up with him. Do you have any threes?"

"Go Fish."

She did, and came up empty. "Still, I'm gonna keep going and working on things. Who knows? I may turn out to be well-adjusted underneath all the mild insanity."

"I hope not; you need mild insanity to get through the day around here. Do you have any jacks?"

Mae handed her a card. "Here. How about you? Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, but that's mostly because I've been so busy. If I stop and think about what's happening to Conrad I could probably work up a pretty spectacular fit. But that wouldn't help me, it wouldn't help the mission, and I know you guys certainly wouldn't want to be part of that. Mostly I'm mad. I'm mad at Cobra, obviously, I'm mad at Duke for letting this happen -"

"I'm sure he couldn't help it."

"I didn't say it was fair or rational. Do you have any nines?"

"Go Fish," said Mae. "I feel reasonably certain that given the choice, Duke would much rather be out with you right now."

"I'd like to think so."

"Is it my turn?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any fives?"

"Go Fish."

"Dammit."

"I guess I'm just worried," Shana said. "It's almost like this is the Universe, or God, or fate, or whatever, letting me know that this isn't meant to work out."

"Knock it off. I'm sure lots of boys get kidnapped right before their first date."

"I'd be surprised if it was all that common."

"Oh, sure. I think I read somewhere it's something like 60% of all first dates get postponed due to the guy being taken prisoner by a terrorist organization. True story. It was in People Magazine, so it has to be true."

"You read that in People?"

"Oh, fine, it was Teen People. Doesn't make it any less valid."

Shana smiled. "I'm glad you came."

"Are you kidding? A thirteen-hour plane ride followed by sneaking into a heavily guarded battle fortress? Wouldn't have missed it."

*****

Several hours later, after Scarlett had gone back to the maps and gotten new maps from the onboard computer system, a way in was found. Slip-Stream brough the plane in low enough that everyone was able to use their jetpacks; everyone, that is, except Cricket, who had never learned to use one, so she got to be carried by Snake Eyes; this turned out to be terrifying to her, because she became absolutely convinced that she was going to be dropped accidentally when Snake decided it might be funny to pretend to lose his grip on her just before takeoff. This resulted in Cricket wrapping both legs around him as she tried her damnedest not to scream the entire way down.

The huge Cobra temple was built out the side of an outcropping of rock under the night sky. Stalker, taking point, landed on top of the outcropping and motioned for the others to follow suit. at this point, everyone slowly, carefully, climbed down the rock, coming to rest on the roof of the temple.

Snake Eyes drew a laser cutter out of his belt, cutting a hole in the roof. Once that had been cleared away, everyone was able to drop down into what appeared to be a hallway. Snake signed, "Chances are he's in the cellar. Stalker and I will head down that way. You two cover the upper levels just in case. We'll meet back here in twenty minutes."

Scarlett started to whisper Snake's instructions to Cricket, but the echo in the hallway was tremendous. She settled for a quick "Come with me," and took off silently down the hallway.

They had gotten a few hundred feet and came to a room, which they found to be full of Cobra footsoldiers. It appeared to be some kind of break room; everyone was sitting around, talking.

"You been to the Arena yet today?"

"No, I pulled a double today. Anything good?"

"Well, that Joe so far's fought a giant and a lion, and he beat them both. There's another show starting soon; you should go. There's some healthy betting action."

"I'm new here. Where's the Arena exactly?"

"Right below us. Take the stairs down two levels. Can't miss it. There's - did you hear something?"

"Yeah. Sounded like someone farting in an echo chamber."

Scarlett could only look at Cricket, who mouthed "I'm sorry!" indignantly. Scarlett drew her uniform's shirt over her nose and mouth. When Cricket mouthed "It wasn't that bad!", she motioned for her to do the same as she set a bolt in her crossbow.

Two Cobra soldiers went to the entryway to check out the source of the sound, which was still echoing. One caught Scarlett's boot in the jaw, the other was punched out by Cricket; both went to the floor. With that, Scarlett swung into the room and shot her bolt into the wall; it let loose a cloud of knockout gas, rendering everyone in the room unconscious.

"Grab a lungful of air and follow me!" Scarlett said, bursting through the room and finding the staircase on the other side. Descending as quickly and quietly as they could, they found themselves in the catwalk above a large arena. Cricket looked down and saw, for the first time ever, a man fighting a giant robot with a trident. "I wish my brother were here," She whispered to Scarlett.

"Why? Would he know how to sneak Duke out in front of a stadium full of hostiles?"

"No, but he'd think this was really cool."

"Terrific. That's helpful."


	4. Chapter 4

The usual disclaimer: I don't own GI Joe.

This is just a placeholder; part five should be up really soon.

***

Duke, busy with the problem of the giant robot, was clearly beyond exhausted. This was not going to go well if they didn't get him out soon.

A small red light flashed silently on Scarlett's communicator. She picked it up and said, "Scarlett."

"It's Stalker. Snake and I are in the entryway of the Arena. We see you up in the catwalk." Scarlett and Cricket scanned the arena, finding a pair of very familiar-looking Cobra soldiers. Snake Eyes' visor was a dead giveaway. "Any ideas?"

"None. I don't like the look of that collar, though."

As if on cue, Duke's body convulsed as if he were being electrocuted. He pawed at the collar ineffectually as Cobra Commander could be heard laughing maniacally from his luxury box.

"It's hurting him!" Scarlett cried.

"I can get the collar off him," Cricket said, notching an arrow in her bow. "Not without attracting attention, though. I don't know if we can do this quiet. We may have to settle for fast."

"Do it!"

"No, wait. Let's wait a bit," said Stalker. "It isn't killing him. No need to let Cobra know we're here yet."

"But he's hurt!" said Scarlett.

"I need your head in the game," Stalker said. "It's not a good idea to give away our position yet. We'll get it off him soon enough."

"But -"

Snake Eyes signalled. Whatever he said seemed to mollify Scarlett enough that she dropped her objections for the time being. "All right, fine. I don't have to like it."

Miraculously, Duke apparently found a reservior of hidden strength, heaving his trident into the robot's eyepiece, sending it to the ground; he collapsed soon after. A pair of Cobra troopers walked out to drag him away.

Snake Eyes signalled. "Snake and I are gonna collect Duke from whoever's handling him. We'll get our way back up to the entry point. Meet us there and keep the area clear." They followed the soldiers dragging Duketo the far end of the stadium.

Scarlett said to Cricket, "Come on. Back the way we came. Radio Slip-Stream and let him know we need a lift."

Cricket brought her communicator to her face and said, "Cricket to Slip-Stream. Come in. We have the package."

"The package? Seriously?" came the answer.

Sigh. "Duke. We have Duke."

"I know what you meant, I just couldn't believe you said it. I'll be over you in ten minutes."

Scarlett spoke into her radio, "Did you get that?" and was met with the sound of lasers going off.

"Little busy right now," said Stalker.

"Meet us at the entry point. Slip-Stream's on his way. ETA 10 minutes."

"Copy. We'll be there."

"How does Duke look?"

"Basically fine. It took some doing, but we got the collar off him. He's a little dehydrated. Strong enough to pick up a gun and shoot back. Speaking of which-"

"Yeah, I know. See you soon." She clicked her communicator off. "Come on. Let's go."

They raced down the hallway and up two flights of stairs, catching the occasional soldier by surprise until they reached the break room. It was still full of sleeping Cobra soldiers,but other, less sleepy soldiers had found the room and were on guard.

"Hey, Shana?" Cricket asked.

"'Scarlett', honey. When were smack dab in the middle of Cobra Central, it's 'Scarlett'."

"Right. Sorry. I don't suppose you've got another one of those sleep arrows on you by any chance?"

"I don't, actually."

"Fair enough." Cricket reached into her quiver and found a pair of arrows with dulled, rounded heads. "I can take out those two over there, then we charge in and take out the rest?"

"It's as good a plan as any, I guess. Go for it."

Cricket fired both arrows at the same time, sending them into the helmets of a pair of troopers on the far side of the room. They glanced off their helmets, instantly knocking them out. The other three troopers in the room turned around quickly and were generally met with kicks to the faces.

"Does this seem too easy?" Cricket asked as they raced down the corridor to the entry point.

"Well, I think Stalker and Snake Eyes might have something to say about that. But yes, we drew the long straw this time around, it would seem. I don't think that was an accident."

"You think they're trying to keep you out of it?"

"I think they think my head's not totally in it." She sighed. "Maybe it's not. I don't know. But I do know I don't like being treated like a porcelain doll. Why did we even come if we're just going to be put off to the side?"

They could hear the sounds of battle directly ahead of them. Stalker, Snake Eyes and Duke were hauling ass, followed close behind by a number of Cobra troopers. Lasers were going off in all directions. Both sets of Joes made it to the hole Snake Eyes had cut in the ceiling at around the same time.

Cricket said to Scarlett, "Gimme a boost. I'll lower the jetpacks." She was not quite prepared for the amount of force applied; Scarlett didn't lift Cricket up so much as fling her into the night sky. Once she was up, however, it was easy enough to find the jetpacks where everyone had left them.

Cricket poked her head into the hole. "Who's ready to fly out of here?"


	5. Chapter 5

Wow. Okay, so apparently, by "really soon" I meant two years.

Sorry. Had a major hard drive crash and I lost a LOT of work.

Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe. If I did, I'd probably have a better computer.

With everyone safely back on the plane, and Duke fast asleep, Scarlett sat down next to Snake Eyes. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," Snake Eyes signed. "What's on your mind?"

"Would you care to explain what the hell you were thinking?"

Snake sighed. "About anything in particular?"

"Don't give me that. You relegated me to the background back there."

"I had no control over what you were going to run into. You ran into a couple of pockets of Cobra soldiers and took care of them. What else did you want?"

"Not to be handled."

"We weren't handling you."

"Bullshit."

"No one was handling you, Shana."

"No one thought I could handle it when Duke was kidnapped, so Flint sent Cricket along to keep an eye on me, and then we get there and you and Stalker do all the heavy lifting."

"That's just how it turned out. I know you could have put your emotions on hold."

"I don't appreciate being patronized."

"Who's patronizing you? Shana, no one knew what was going on where."

"I could have kept my emotions in check."

"Obviously, because you're doing a bang-up job of it right now."

With that, Scarlett proceeded to rip into Snake Eyes mercilessly. Everyone, Cricket included, tried not to listen, but it was impossible to ignore. After a while, Snake convinced her to at least carry on via sign language, so as not to bother the rest of the team, but he was clearly getting more and more angry himself. After several hours, Scarlett finally threw her hands up and said, "I can't. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry you're upset, but I have my own life to lead now." Cricket supposed they weren't fighting about the mission anymore. Snake signed angrily, but Scarlett only said, "I'm sorry. Just… let's not talk right now."

Shana crossed the plane and sat next to Mae, who tried EVER so hard not to move, or breathe, or give Shana any reason to turn her fury towards her. She was therefore overcome with an almost superhuman need to clear her throat. She swallowed furiously, but eventually had no choice but to give voice to the softest of "ahems".

Shana wheeled on Mae. "Got something to say?"

"Me? No. What did I do?"

Shana sighed. "Nothing. Sorry. Not your fault." She looked at the ceiling for a full minute, and said, "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to listen to that. That should have been private."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Want to talk about Shark Week?"

"No. Wait, what?"

"Shark Week. It's Shark Week on TV right now. You know how much crap a shark can eat?"

"Mae –"

"A *ton*. Seriously. I know you think Courtney can shovel it in, but –"

"Mae, thank you for trying, but I'm not –"

"And I've seen Courtney eat an entire pie in one sitting. She thinks I wasn't paying attention, but she just unhinged her jaw and inhaled the whole thing. Like a snake. Or that other thing that eats pies whole. What are they called?"

"Mae –"

"I want to say it's some kind of burrowing mammal." She turned to Stalker. "Hey, Stalker! What's that animal that can eat an entire pie in one sitting?"

"Cover Girl?" he called out.

"No, the other one."

Shana was trying very, very hard to remain angry but almost found herself smiling just a *little* bit. "Goddammit, Mae."

"And that," Mae said triumphantly, "is why I'm here." She rested her head on Shana's shoulder, who in turn rested her head on Mae's. "You okay?"

Shana sighed. "Basically, yes. Duke's okay, that's the important thing. I let my upset out on Snake, but then…"

"Ex- drama?" Mae asked.

"Yeah."

"I may be talking completely out of my butt, but I think Snake probably wants you to be happy."

Shana sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I dunno. It'll be fine."

"In other news, Duke owes you just about the greatest dinner out the world has ever seen."

"I know, right? I may even make him pay for coffee and dessert."

"Fancy dinner is fancy."

"Here's hoping. I don't know when we'll get to go; Doc's almost certainly going to want him to take it easy for a while."

"Sure, because Duke is famous for not going ahead and doing whatever the hell he wants to do as soon as he wants to do it. Relax, Shana. You'll have your date. God, it's like junior high with you people."

Shana smiled. "Us people? Maybe you should find someone and then we can harass you for a while."

Mae just shrugged. "Not like anyone's beating down my door."

"What? You're cute, you're funny. I'm sure…" Mae was turning beet red. Shana noticed and said, "Mae… you've been out with a guy before, right?" Mae shrunk further into herself. "Oh, sorry. Or a girl?"

Mae mumbled, "It would be a guy… but… not exactly."

"And by 'not exactly' you mean –"

"No."

"You're only eighteen. That's not unheard of." Mae just shrugged. With that, Shana reached for her comm, and texted a message to Allie and Courtney: WE HAVE A NEW PROJECT.


	6. Chapter 6

Two updates in two days. Making up for lost time.

Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe. Please don't sue.

Courtney sat cross-legged on the floor of the apartment, controller in hand. "This game cheats!"

Allie looked up from Mae's laptop. "The game doesn't cheat. You just suck."

"I'm a highly trained soldier in all manner of weaponry. I should be taking these punk-ass kids apart. This one over here keeps waiting for me to respawn and shoots me in the head. Xbox Live is filled with the dregs of humanity and I hate everybody." She paused a moment, then screamed into her headset, "No, YOU shut the fuck up! What are you, twelve? Stop laughing!"

"Courtney, I think maybe it's time to turn that off."

"No! If I turn it off they WIN."

"I think they've already won. You've been playing for hours and have won precisely no matches. You are also, as we speak, in a screaming match with a twelve-year-old boy."

"He started it! Also, he says he's fourteen."

"Courtney Anne."

"Aargh! Fine." Courtney whispered into her headset, "I swear to God, I'm going to find out who you are, and I'm going to come over your house, and I'm going to shove a javelin so far up your ass –"

"I'm not letting you borrow a javelin."

"- and I can do it too, because I live across the hall from not one but TWO counterintelligence experts, and I have the full power of the entire United States Military behind me. So just watch your back, xXAsSaSsIn420Xx."

"I'm turning the game off now."

"Also, don't do drugs." Courtney turned to Allie. "See? There. Responsible." She powered the console down and stretched. "I think I'm improving!"

"I think you're delusional. What did you do all day before Mae brought that thing in here?"

"I dunno. Reading and stuff, I guess. I was playing something else the other day, and I totally got to have sex with a blue alien chick."

"You don't say."

"I got some sideboob and everything."

"Doc has GOT to let you go back to work soon."

The door opened and Mae stumbled in awkwardly, barely aware of the two women in the room. She flung the door closed, dropped her bow and quiver in a heap, kicked her boots off, then slowly turned her gaze towards Allie and Courtney. Looking out from behind the very deep circles under her eyes, Mae mumbled, "'M'home."

Allie turned to her. "Hey! Everything went okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Thirteen hour plane ride there, twenty minute extraction, thirteen hours back. Duke's fine. Doc's giving him the once-over, but he's fine. Shana's less fine."

"Was she hurt, or –"

"No, I wasn't hurt," Shana said from the other side of the door before opening it. "I'm fine, honest. Just a little emo drama with Snake. It'll blow over."

"In other news, I got to see Duke fight a giant robot today," Mae said."It was every bit as awesome as it sounds. But I think I need to sleep for a week, and hopefully I can get that done in time before I have to be in PT, in…" She looked at the clock. "An hour."

"Hang on," Allie said, banging away at the laptop. "I'm sure Flint changed the duty roster when you got sent off." She looked for the appropriate page. "Here we go. Yeah, he did. Both of you are done till tomorrow."

"Hallefuckinglujah. Please don't mind me, but I'm going to get the sleep I so richly deserve."

Courtney said, "Night, kiddo." The others similarly bid Mae good night as she drifted in the general direction of her bed. Courtney then turned toward Shana. "What about you? You gonna get some rest too?"

"Not right now. I'm still a little keyed up."

"Duke's okay, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm not going to lie, it was really, really difficult to see him hurt like he was, and every time I think about it I want to fly back over there and just wantonly destroy everything. Twice. Ah, shit. I *am* letting things get to me."

"Of course you are," Allie said. "You're human. The guy you care about got hurt and you reacted. Oh my God, you got upset. Better start beating yourself up now."

"Snake and Stalker both had to talk me down. Mae did too, afterwards. I shouldn't have gone."

"Hawk told you to go. It's not like you could have said no. Listen, I'm going to point something out to you."

"Uh… okay."

"What we do for a living? Little bit dangerous. Flint is the first one charging into every firefight we have, and it kills me. It KILLS me. Every battle we have, I have the voice in the back of my head asking if this is gonna be the time he doesn't make it back. So far he always has. And when he gets captured – and he does, on occasion – I feel everything you're feeling right now. It's okay to feel that. You gotta learn to use it, Shana, because I promise you, it never gets any easier. All you can do is go in there and do your job the best you can, because the alternative is you either shut down, or you go berserk, and neither of those options helps anyone. Least of all Duke."

Shana blinked. "Allie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to hug you now."

"Bring it." As they embraced, Shana sniffled a little. "Oh, and if you ever tell Flint I was saying nice things about him, I'll deny it and then destroy you." Shana laughed and squeezed harder.

Courtney rolled her eyes and said, "Jeez, you two. If no one's going to pay attention to me I'm just going to go back on the Xbox and threaten more middle schoolers."

Shana looked confused. "You what?"

Allie said, "Oh, yeah. While you were gone, Courtney went insane."

"Well, at least she's filling her time constructively." She flung herself into a chair and slumped. "You know what I'd like? And easy day. Just one."

"Yeah, you're due," said Courtney. "Don't worry, things will calm down. So anyway, you texted us from the plane. What's going on?"

Shana turned to make sure Mae's door was closed. "I was talking to Mae on the plane. Some stuff came up. Do you realize she's never gone out on a date?"

As Courtney suddenly lit up, Allie reluctantly reached into her pocket and pulled out a $20 bill. As she handed it to Courtney, she said, "Dammit."

Shana took this in. "Seriously? You bet on this? This was a conversation you two had and you actually bet on this?"

"I know, Shana," said Courtney. "But in my defense, I was reasonably certain she hadn't and thought I could profit."

"That doesn't make it better. That makes it worse."

"Twenty bucks, though!"

"Shame on you both."

"Didn't you already know that, Shana?" Allie asked. "Didn't you do her background check?"

"If I committed every piece of information about every single person on this base to memory I'd lose my mind. I wouldn't have stood out as important."

"So why is it important now?" asked Courtney.

"I dunno. She just seemed kind of sad about it."

They let that thought turn in their heads for a minute. Then Courtney said, "You know, I love her to pieces, but I really can't say I'm shocked. You've seen how awkward she is now. Imagine what she was like when she was 14 or 15. Everyone goes at their own pace, Shana."

Allie looked at Courtney. "That's surprisingly mature."

"I know, right? I have maturity coming out of my blowhole."

"Aaaaaand we're back."

"But seriously, she'll be fine."

"Of course she'll be fine," said Shana. "But… you didn't see her."

"So you're suggesting… what, exactly?" asked Allie.

"She's suggesting," said Mae from her doorway, "that the three of you get together and set me up with someone. Am I close?"

"Um… how long have you been there?" asked Shana.

"Long enough."

Shana bolted up and went to Mae. "Mary, I'm sorry. We wouldn't have done anything without consulting you."

"I said what I said to YOU, Shana. I didn't think you were going to run and tell the others."

"I know. You're right. I'm sorry."

Mae was having a hard time meeting Shana's eyes. "You all think I'm weird."

"No, we don't."

"I think you're weird," said Courtney, walking over to Mae as well.

"Not helping," hissed Shana.

"But not because of this. Kiddo, things will happen naturally. If you want help we will help you. If you want to do this on your own, no problem. If you aren't ready yet, that's fine too. Please don't be embarrassed. No one is making fun or judging you. Shana did what she did because she's an inveterate busybody –"

"Hey!"

"- who cares about you. She saw that you felt bad and wanted to help fix it." Courtney touched Mae's face, bringing her eyes up. "No one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do. Promise. I gotta say, though, that having someone buy you dinner and then take you to a movie? Pretty great."

Shana said, "I'm really, really sorry, Mae."

Mae shifted uncomfortably. "It's just… I'm not good at this. Growing up I was always either at archery practice, or babysitting the kid upstairs, or whatever, and I just… I don't know what to do with guys. I just feel like I should have done SOMETHING by now. I mean, when did you first go out with someone?"

"I went to junior prom when I was sixteen. I couldn't dance so I spent the entire night drinking punch and I had to pee four times. My date left with his friends and I had to have my brother come get me. It was awful."

"Gee, I'm sorry to have missed out on that experience."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe. Please don't sue.

Snake Eyes spent the entirety of the following day beating the crap out of things. He promised himself, he absolutely PROMISED himself he wasn't going to be a jerk about Shana finding love with another guy, and he let himself be drawn into a huge fight with her over it anyway. Yes, she was somewhat highly charged about the whole Duke's capture situation, but he allowed things to drift into an unrelated fight about his feelings for her, and that was not something he wanted to do. So the poor unfortunates who had combat training with him that day bore the brunt of his frustration, along with several practice dummies which were going to need to be either repaired or replaced.

As he made his way back to his quarters at the end of the day, he made a mental note to apologize to Dusty, who he actually provoked into running away at one point. Whatever. That was for later. Right now, he just wanted a hot shower and the opportunity to get some meditation in.

Standing under the running water did nothing to make him any less angry at himself. He knew he was going to have to find a way to apologize to Shana without going overboard. He was happy for her.

Really.

Honestly.

Mostly.

Kind of.

He toweled off and found a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt to slip into. He sat down at his desk, realizing he had quite a bit of unfiled paperwork he needed to get through, and decided this would be what he needed to distract him. He stared at the first page intently, willing it to make sense in his mind as he tried valiantly not to dwell on other things.

There was a knock on his door. That surprised him; people generally left him alone after hours. He pulled on his mask and opened the door, only to find Cricket standing there with an enormous accordion.

"Hi!" she beamed at Snake, playing an opening fanfare before singing, "Straight Outta Compton! Crazy muthafucka named Ice Cube –"

Cover Girl, who was standing behind her, said, "I begged her not to do this."

Oh, God, thought Snake. He quickly signed, "Get in here before you keep singing that song and say a word you have no business saying." He grabbed Cricket with both hands and pulled her inside.

Cricket looked around. "Wow. This place is so clean. Smells nice."

"Thank you," Snake signed. "What are you doing here?"

Cricket looked blankly at Snake for a moment or two. "Yeah, I still don't know sign language."

Snake did not have the patience for this. He looked to Cover Girl, who had followed Cricket in and was idly glancing through a catalog on Snake's table. He waved at her to get her attention, and signed, "What the hell is going on?"

"Tell him why you're here, Mae."

Cricket looked up at Snake Eyes. "Well, I saw what happened on the plane. And I was talking to some of the guys, and it sounds like you have your crankypants on."

"My… crankypants."

"Yeah. And I thought you sounded like you could use some cheering up." With that, she started playing "Roll Out The Barrel". "This is the first song I ever learned. It took forever before Mr. Kovalik would teach me anything but polka music."

Snake Eyes was completely bewildered and had no idea what was going on anymore. He signed to Cover Girl, "Do you have any control over this?"

"Not really. Mae, maybe not right this second."

"But everybody loves a polka."

"I think if you don't want Snake Eyes to break what I assume is a VERY expensive musical instrument, you should probably give it a rest."

Cricket pouted, putting the instrument down with a sad "hurm" noise. "Fine. I don't know, though. Gangsta rap on the accordion is a surefire hit."

"I'm sure it never misses," signed Snake, "and thank you for trying."

"Timmy Sammarco," Cricket said.

Snake and Cover Girl both looked confused. "Is that code for something?" Snake signed.

"Timmy Sammarco is my brother's best friend and I had a huge crush on him my entire life. I followed him around all over the place and wrote "Mrs. Mary Sammarco" in all my school notebooks. He was always so nice to me, and not a lot of people really were. I loved him with all my heart and he got married and I thought I was gonna die."

Snake sighed. "Thank you, Cricket, but it's really not the same thing."

"I know. I mean, I was fourteen when he got married. I know now it was never going to happen. But I guess I'm saying we all have bad days when it comes to this stuff. I assume you don't especially want to talk about it, and that's fine. But if we can take your mind off it for a while, we will."

Snake looked at Cover Girl, who smiled. "Seriously, Snake. You can sit here and brood about it if you want, or you can let us distract you for a while and you can continue to brood about it tomorrow."

Snake shrugged. "Fine. What did you have in mind?"

Cricket said, "Well, for a start we can talk about how weird it is to see you in regular people clothes. Or we could talk about that wall over there with all those trench knives, which is kind of skeeving me out a little."

"I collect them."

"Obviously."

Cover Girl chimed in, "Or, we could discuss how we're trying to set Mae up with someone."

Snake Eyes turned to Cricket, grinning ear to ear under his mask. He was DELIGHTED to see she suddenly had nothing to say. "Really?"

"We don't HAVE to talk about that," Cricket mumbled.

"Do you have anyone in mind?" Snake Eyes asked.

"I talked to some of the guys in the motor pool," Cover Girl said. "Most of them still think of her as the girl who beat up Clutch, so they're a little gun shy."

"He really did kind of have it coming," Snake signed.

"Agreed, but still."

"What about that dating site you're on?"

"What?" said Cover Girl, nervously. "I'm – I'm not on a dating site."

"Sure you are. Hold on." He reached for his laptop and did a quick search.

"Oh, God. Oh God Oh God Oh God. Who else knows about this?"

"Honestly? Well, you told Shana, correct?"

"Yes…"

"And Shana told Jaye."

"I see…"

"And Jaye told Flint."

"Uh huh…"

"And Flint told many, many people."

Cover Girl hung her head. "I hate this place."

Snake Eyes found the page he was looking for and motioned for Cricket to come take a look. She tried not to giggle when she saw the page for a "CoverGirl32" covered in pictures that seemed to span her modeling days, as well as more recent photos. "Athletic tomboy?" Cricket asked. "That's how you described yourself?"

"What? That's not wrong, is it?"

Snake signed, "It says here you enjoy long walks, reading, engine repair and 'alone time'. Really? Alone time?"

"What's wrong with alone time?"

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just say 'I enjoy masturbating?'"

Cover Girl turned beet red. "That's not what that means!"

"It *is* what that means, and it's what everyone reading this thinks it means."

"The picture of you with your nipple showing," said Cricket, "is probably not helping matters."

Snake Eyes looked closely. When Cricket pointed it out to him, he chuckled. Cover Girl was horrified. "How did I miss that? Oh my God! That explains why I had so many creeps emailing me!"

There was a soft knock at the door. "Snake Eyes, it's Shana. Can I come in?" She let herself in tentatively, surprised to see Courtney and Mae already there.

"Shana!" yelled Courtney, close to tears. "The Internet thinks I'm a topless masturbator!"

"Don't be silly, honey. You're not always topless. Snake, can I talk to you really quickly?"

"Of course." He looked at the girls, who were intently studying Courtney's page, and signed, "Maybe out in the hall."

They stepped outside as Mae said sheepishly, "You know, the walls here are pretty thin, and your… thing… is kinda loud."

Shana closed the door behind them. She called Snake Eyes by his real first name, and said, "I am so, so sorry about yesterday. I was upset about Duke and I had no right to take that out on you. You were there to rescue him and I should be grateful to you for that."

Snake waved her off. "It's fine. I know you were upset. We all were. But really, *I'm* sorry about what I said. Honestly, I'm happy for you. And for him. He's a good man. The best."

"I know."

"I'm always going to care about you, Shana. But we didn't work. I know that."

"I'm sorry."

"Good, because I like to think it was your fault."

Shana punched him in the arm. "Jerk." They stood awkwardly for a moment, before Shana said, "Oh, stop being stupid. Come here." They hugged, for the first time in a long time.

Inside the apartment, Mae was looking idly around and noticed a picture of a man and a woman on an end table. "Who are these two?" she asked Courtney.

"The guy is Snake. The girl is his sister."

"Wow! He's not bad looking."

"That was before the accident. He doesn't wear the mask because it's really comfortable and stylish. He wears it because he was hurt in a helicopter explosion a while back. That's what damaged his vocal cords as well."

"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

"No reason you would have known. It's okay."

Mae thought about that for a minute. "I should probably get around to learning sign language soon, huh?"

"Probably. People aren't going to always be around to translate for you."

"Will you show me?"

"I'll try. I admit I'm not fantastic at it, but I'll show you what I know."

"Cool. Thanks." She turned and noticed a very large wolf saunter into the room, yawning. She went stiff as a board. "Courtney. Courtney. Wolf."

"What? Oh, hey, Timber! C'mere!" Timber crossed to Courtney and nuzzled her affectionately as she scratched his chin.

"That… that's a wolf."

"I know! He's a good wolf! Who's a good wolf?"

"Snake Eyes has a wolf. Like, an actual wolf."

"Yes he does. I should say he does! Who's a good boy? YOU'RE a good boy!"

Mae was astounded. It was official. Snake Eyes was a bad ass motherfucker.

The next morning, Duke sat in his office, wondering where to start. He had roughly a billion things he had to do, and was having trouble deciding what to tackle first. He therefore decided to sip his coffee and gaze out the window for the time being. Flint was sitting across from him, and they had long since stopped talking, perfectly content to sit in silence while they wasted time, as Flint threw pencils into the ceiling to see which ones would stick.

Eventually, Flint would break the silence. "Oh, hey. Should you even be working?"

Duke kept staring out the window, enraptured by the sight of Beach Head berating a line of soldiers. "Probably not. Doc doesn't think so. Still, I'm all right. I was a little dehydrated, but basically I'm fine. No reason I can't work." He proceeded to not do any work.

"Fair enough." Flint continued to throw pencils for a bit, then said, "Oh! Hey, listen. I wanted to let you know, I know you're trying to think of someplace nice to take Scarlett."

"Yeah?"

"I know the guy at the French Place -" (the restaurant had a real name, but no one could remember it, and everyone called it the French Place) "- and I was able to get you a reservation for this weekend."

"Really?" asked Duke. "Wow. That place is always booked for weeks in advance. Thanks, man. Oh, I bet she'll love that." He sipped his coffee. "Girls like French food, right?"

Flint shrugged. "Allie does. That's why I always tip everyone there really well, so I'm able to get in at short notice."

"Nice."

"I am suave as hell, my friend."

"You need a certain amount of suaveness to get by in this place, I think," said Duke, who was watching Cricket flail around wildly and run in circles as she screamed, "Bee in my shirt Bee in my shirt!" as Beach Head yelled himself purple trying to get her back in line.


	8. Chapter 8

Not gonna lie; this one's been getting away from me. I think I have it back to where I want it, and this should be completed fairly shortly.

Thanks to everyone who's provided feedback; I really appreciate it.

As per usual, Hasbro owns G.I. Joe. I do not. Please don't sue.

Duke wasn't sure when it happened, and he wasn't sure how it happened, but he decided that he had quite definitively lost control of the morning meeting. Flint, Stalker and Beach Head looked equally bewildered, and while Snake Eyes was a little more understanding, he too felt that perhaps there was a better time and place for things.

Scarlett, meanwhile, was conferring at the far end of the table with Lady Jaye, having spent most of the meeting whispering back and forth, but by now dropping all pretense of paying attention and was quite openly running down a list of potential Joes to encourage Cricket to go out with.

"What about Airtight?" suggested Jaye.

"Hmm, I dunno. He's a nice guy, but he's kind of a noodge. Dusty?"

"Ooh, yeah. Definitely put him on the list."

"Okay." Scarlett wrote Dusty's name down on her legal pad. "How about Footloose?"

Jaye inhaled sharply. "I don't know about Footloose. Even for Mae, he's kind of out there."

"True."

"Oh! Oh! Breaker!" said Jaye excitedly.

"Ladies?" said Duke.

"Oh, perfect!" said Scarlett. "They're close in age, they both like that geek stuff –"

"Scarlett?" Duke tried again.

"You know," growled Beach Head, "It's not like I don't have better things to do than worry about who Princess is taking to prom. If we're done, Top, I got a course to rebuild."

"We're not done," said Duke. He snapped his fingers a couple of times and said, "Scarlett. Jaye. Over here."

The ladies looked up, noticing that Duke was not particularly amused. "Seriously? Seriously. This couldn't wait. Jaye, you're not even _in_ this meeting."

Jaye looked to Flint, who looked at her, then at Duke, realized he was going to be in trouble with someone no matter who be backed, and said, "I have no opinion."

"Scarlett, can I have a word?" Duke asked. They walked to a corner of the command room where they could talk without being overheard, and Duke said, "Shana, listen. I know you're excited about having a project –"

Scarlett said, "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'll behave."

"This really isn't like you."

"I guess I'm just happy." She smiled, tilting her head and brushing nonexistent dust off of Duke's shirt.. "I'm excited and happy and I'm getting carried away."

"Well, you _do_ have an amazing man. You know, officially, I should be getting all kinds of C.O. on you right now."

"But unofficially?"

"Unofficially…" Duke sighed. "What about Zap? Zap's a good guy."

"See? You can be helpful. And yes, I thought of Zap. They have a similar sense of humor and –"

"Okay, okay. But can it please wait until later? And bear in mind I'm saying 'please' so I don't have to order you –"

"Which would undoubtedly have consequences later."

"… Christ almighty, this is going to be complicated, isn't it?"

"Very likely. Tell me you love me."

"You know I love you. Go sit your ass down."

"Yes, Sergeant."

On the other side of the control room, Breaker was overseeing Cricket as she re-input all of the personnel files she had inadvertently wiped from the mainframe during the Gravity Core battle. She had been doing this for quite some time, and judging by the stack in front of her, she would continue to be doing it for some time to come.

"You could always help with this, you know," Cricket said grumpily.

"I could," replied Breaker, "but I'm not going to. I'm very, very busy."

"I suppose that gum's not going to chew itself."

"Also, do you see that red light right there? If that red light turns on, I have to sound the general alarm. It's extremely important that this red light does not go unwatched. Untold calamity could befall us all if I were to be derelict in this duty."

Cricket stifled the urge to giggle at the word "duty" and said, "So instead you're going to browse through Wikipedia for another two hours."

"I'm going to browse through Wikipedia for as long as it takes. I need to make sense of DC's latest reboot."

"You want to know what's happening with DC's reboot? I'll tell you. 'Screw you, readers' is what's happening. They're trying to stay all cool and hip with what kids want by bringing back 1994 in a big way and getting rid of years and years of history, and as soon as some other editor gets in the whole thing goes back to normal. Don't waste your time with it."

"Marvel Zombie, then?"

"Born and bred. Some Vertigo stuff's not bad, but I've always leaned toward Marvel."

"Ever been to the Dungeon?"

"Who to the what now?"

"The Dungeon. It's a comic shop in town. It's small and cramped and it smells like mold, but it's all there is in the area."

"Huh. No, but I'll check it out next time I'm in town. How are they on back issues?"

"Not great, to be honest. But the guy's good about keeping your pull list updated and he'll order pretty much anything you want." This was punctuated with an enormous bubble.

Cricket looked at the clock. "Cool. I'll definitely take a look. I gotta run; it's time to go let Snake Eyes kick my butt for a couple of hours. I'll be back around two. You'll still be here?"

"This is where I usually am. See you later."

"Bye." Cricket saved her work and powered the terminal down, then waved goodbye and headed out. Breaker turned his attention back to Wikipedia and didn't hear Scarlett creep up behind him. "Hey, Breaker!"

He accidentally swallowed his gum. "Gah! I wasn't goofing off!"

"Relax, I'm not looking over your shoulder." She was smiling at him.

"Ok. Um… do you need something?"

"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. What do you think of Cricket?"

"She's good. She works hard when she's here. Sometimes I have to go in and check her work, but generally –"

"No, I don't mean a work evaluation."

"Oh." Breaker was very confused. "What do you mean, then?"

"I mean, personally. What are your thoughts?"

"Um… she's cool, I guess. We're talking more and she's opening up. She seems like a nice kid."

"She is. She's a great kid."

Breaker wasn't any less confused. "So… is that it?"

"Would you be interested in going out with her?"

"Oh! Oh! Um… I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I… guess? Why, has she said anything?"

"No, nothing like that. No pressure. I was just gauging your interest. Think about it."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I will. I mean, yeah. She does seem cool. I guess I just haven't thought about her that way."

"Okay. Just give it some thought. I think you'd like each other. It could be fun."

Scarlett smiled and walked off, leaving Breaker to wonder just what the hell happened.

Across the compound, Cricket was in the middle of having her ass handed to her by Snake Eyes, over and over again. Jaye was on hand to translate, but she kept getting off track.

Snake Eyes had a knee under Cricket's chin, bringing his weight to bear. Cricket was struggling to breathe and trying her damnedest to move him, to no avail.

"Come on," Snake signed. "Get me off of you. We've done this a thousand times."

"I'm trying!" She kicked her legs, trying to gain some leverage, but Snake wasn't budging.

Snake signed some more, and Jaye translated, "Seriously, though, have you thought about Breaker?"

Cricket said, "What? You mean, if I think about Breaker you'll get off me?"

Snake sighed. "Jaye, please just translate what I say."

Jaye said, "That wasn't Snake, that was me."

Cricket, turning purple, said, "Can this wait until after I don't have a two hundred pound ninja on my neck?"

"He's a really nice guy."

"I know he is, but Snake is killing me right now."

"I'm not killing you. You know how to get out of this."

"I'm TRYING, goddammit!" Cricket repeated testily.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, Sergeant." She struggled some more. "I can't breathe."

"Then you better figure this out soon." She tried to punch his kidney, but he easily batted her hand aside.

After a moment of silence, Jaye said, "I think you guys might really hit it off."

Snake signed, "Not now, Jaye. Cricket? How are you doing down there?" No response. Snake tapped her on the head.

Jaye said, "I think she's passed out."

Snake opened one of Cricket's eyelids; she was out to lunch. He sighed. She had a long way to go. He got off her, crossed the room to the water cooler, and filled a paper cup. He went over to Cricket and threw the contents of the cup into her face; she sputtered and inhaled sharply, coughing.

"Are you all right?" Jaye asked.

Cricket nodded. She got up slowly and deliberately, taking stock of the situation.

"All right then," Snake Eyes signed. "Let's keep going."

"Can I just have a minute?" Cricket asked.

"No." Snake came flying at her, foot first. Almost instinctively, Cricket grabbed his foot and twisted him off center. She wasn't quite fast enough, however, and he came around and clocked her, hard, on the side of her head. She shook it off, squared herself against him, and tried to look steady.

Snake Eyes looked at her. She was clearly having trouble focusing. He put his hands up and signed, "Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm okay." She looked around him. "Do I aim at the one in the middle?"

"The middle? How many fingers am I holding up?"

She squinted. "On which hand?"

"Okay, we're done for today. Jaye, take her down to have Doc check her out. Cricket, I'm not really pleased about your progress."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Be better. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and left.

Cricket was unsteady. Jaye put a hand on her shoulder. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to catch my breath. And to take an aspirin. And to not suck quite so hard."

"Snake Eyes is tough. It takes everyone a while to get where he wants them to be." She led Cricket out the door and across the compound towards the infirmary.

"When did you get where he wanted you to be?" Cricket asked.

"I'll let you know when that happens. I don't train with him every day like you do, but I still have to put my time in, and he kicks my ass pretty regularly. He kicks _everyone's_ ass pretty regularly. Don't think you're ever going to become a ninja master, but if you work hard he'll get you where you need to be."

They continued in silence until they reached Doc's office. He saw that Cricket was looking wobbly and asked Jaye, "She all right?"

"She's basically fine. She just got out of hand to hand."

Cricket whined, "Snake Eyes beat me up."

"That's what the government pays him to do," said Doc. "Hop up on the bench."

Jaye said, "I think Snake thinks she may have a concussion."

"Wouldn't be the first time. Cricket, look at me for a minute." He looked in her eyes, then shined a penlight in them. "Headache?"

Cricket nodded. "Oooh, yeah."

"Dizziness? Nausea?"

"Not really. I was seeing double for a few minutes, but that's passed."

"Hmm. Okay. What's the rest of your day look like?"

"Mostly computer work. Archery drills later on."

"Okay. Better safe than sorry. Hold off on the archery drills today, and I'm excusing you from PT tomorrow morning. I want you to come back here this time tomorrow and we'll see how you feel. Computer work should be okay, but if you continue to have a headache then come straight here. I don't want you alone for the next 24 hours just in case."

"I can stay with her for a while, then Courtney can hang out with her tonight," Jaye said.

"That'll work. The other option is you can stay here under observation, but you'd have to sit next to Grand Slam, who has horrendous food poisoning right now. Not pleasant."

Cricket wrinkled her nose. "I'll pass."

"That's what I figured." He handed her two aspirin. "Remember, if you feel anything out of the ordinary, come straight back here."

"Yes sir." She hopped down off the bench and immediately crashed into the floor. "Ow."

Making their way to the mess, Jaye needled Cricket some more. "So, anyway. Breaker?"

"Why Breaker?" asked Cricket.

"Why not? He's about your age, you guys like the same stuff."

"Not true. He's a DC fan."

Jaye rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was this yawning chasm between the two of you. No one's asking you to marry the guy, Mae. That's why people date. To see if there's any interest there. I think – wow."

They entered the mess, which was full to bursting. There didn't seem to be any place to sit at first glance. Mae grabbed a tray and entered the line, which seemed to stretch for miles. "I mean… I dunno. I like him, I guess. I mean, I don't _like him_ like him, but we can talk about stuff and he seems like a nice guy."

"He is a nice guy. Just give it some thought, okay?"

"Okay." Mae thought about it for a minute, and felt weird. "Allie? How long have you and Flint been together?"

"Maybe a year or so. We got assigned here at roughly the same time and just kind of fell into each other."

"Did you like him right away?"

"Oh, hell no. I thought he was an arrogant jackass."

"What changed your mind?"

"Who says I did? He _is_ an arrogant jackass. But it turns out he has lots of really good qualities too. And the things that man can do with his mouth –"

Mae blushed furiously. "Um, that's okay. I don't need to hear about that."

Allie laughed. "It's okay, Mae. It's just sex. It's not that big a deal."

"If you say so."

"Hey, it's okay. Don't make it a bigger thing than it is. It's something – I'm sorry, Short Fuze. Are you getting all this?"

Short Fuze, who was standing behind Allie, mumbled something and looked away.

"Anyway, don't make it into a huge thing."

Mae looked at her tray. "I'll try. First things first, right?"

They got to the front of the line, and saw the reason the mess was so full. Roadblock was standing behind the counter, beaming. "Hello, ladies!"

"Hey, Block," said Allie. "What do we have?"

"Today we have _coq au vin_, served with wild rice and roasted asparagus."

"_Coq au vin_?" asked Mae. "That's like, chicken, right?"

After a pause, Roadblock said, "Yes, that's like chicken."

"Hook us up," said Allie. Roadblock carefully plated their dishes and handed them over. Mae wrinkled her nose at the asparagus, but realized in time that she probably shouldn't complain. Still, though. Asparagus. Yuck.

"Hey! Guys!" Shana waved frantically at them from across the mess, mouth full of chicken. "Over here!" She chased a couple of greenshirts away to make room as Allie and Mae came over.

"So?" asked Shana. "Did Allie ask you?"

Mae sighed. "Yes, Allie asked me."

"And…?"

"And, I don't know. I mean, sure, I guess. Um, yes. All right? Yes. If he asks, I'll go."

"Oh, yay! Oh, this'll be fun."

"Well, he hasn't asked yet. So, hey, now that things are back to normal, what's happening with Duke?"

"He's taking me to the French Place!" Shana thought for a minute. "That's good, right? I don't know if I've ever had French food."

"You're eating French food right now," said Allie.

"Oh, then yum. I do like French food."

"You'll like it," said Allie. "They have a _pot au feu_ that's out of this world."

Shana decided to smile and pretend she knew what that was.

"Anyone want my asparagus?" asked Mae.

"It's good for you," said Shana.

"I know, but it smells like pee."

"No, it doesn't. If you don't want it don't eat it, but stop playing with it."

Mae grumped. "You're not my mother." Shana was too busy bouncing in her chair, making "I'm enjoying my food" noises to pay her any mind.

Afterwards, as she approached the control room with Allie, Mae said, "I'm feeling way better now. You don't have to hang out with me if you've got other work to do."

"I have some reports to work on, but I can do them here. No, I promised Doc I'd keep an eye on you and I'm going to. Besides, I want to watch."

Mae was confused. "Watch what? I don't –" They entered the room, and saw Breaker in his usual spot at the main terminal, right next to Mae's workstation. She saw that Courtney had come down and was seated at the main conference table, apparently waiting. Shana ran in behind them and sat down next to Courtney; they both waved at Mae. With that, Mae felt a chill run down her spine and realized what was about to happen.

"No. Oh, no. No, you are NOT doing this."

"Doing what?" asked Allie innocently. "All right, get back to work. I'll be over here with the girls if you need anything."

Slowly, deliberately, Mae walked across the room for what seemed like an hour. At some point, though, she had to accept the realization that the room was not as large as all that, and she was about to reach her destination. Feeling about as awkward and self-conscious as she had ever felt, and she'd had more than her share of awkward and self-conscious moments, she pulled up her chair and played with the back of it. Breaker looked up from what he was doing and realized she was there. He stood up quickly.

"Um… hi," said Cricket.

"Yeah. I mean, hi." Long pause. He turned around briefly and saw the three women smiling at him, and said, "Oh, God." He turned back to Cricket and strained for something to say. "So, um… how did it go with Snake Eyes?"

"Not great. That's okay, he gets to beat me up again tomorrow." Now it was her turn to pause. "Um, did you get lunch today? Roadblock made chicken."

"No. No, not yet."

There was another pause. Cricket asked, in a very small voice, "So, um, did they, you know…"

Breaker turned red. "Yeah." He fumbled for a piece of gum, but played with it rather than putting it in his mouth.

From the other side of the room, Courtney stage whispered, "Are you doing anything Friday night?"

Both Breaker and Cricket started to talk at once, then Cricket said, "You go."

"I dunno… did you want to maybe do something?"

Cricket smiled shyly. "Yes. That sounds nice."

"Friday?"

"Friday's good."

"Okay."

"Okay." Cricket pushed some hair out of her face, went to sit down, and missed her chair completely.

Duke, who was talking with Stalker at another station on the other side of the room, heard three women cheer loudly and said, "I wish I knew what was going on."


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, I'm thinking one more after this and this story will be done. Thanks for reading. And I always appreciate any reviews that come my way.

Usual disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe. Please don't sue.

"I have news for you, Princess!" Beach Head hollered, his face a mere inch away from Cricket's. "You are NOT a precious snowflake! You are NOT a unique gumdrop! You are not charming, you are not quirky, you are not adorable!"

"No, Sergeant!"

"You are the most useless sack of pigshit I have ever had the misfortune to come across in all my years in this man's Army! You are a fucking disgrace! This unit is the elite! This unit is the best of the best! And then there's _you_! One of these things is not like the other! Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sergeant!"

"And you!" he spat, turning his attention to Footloose, who was in line next to Cricket. "I can't begin to imagine what the hemorrhaging fuck Hawk was thinking letting your hippie motherfucking ass in this place! If I had my way…" Beach Head continued to berate each and every Joe in turn, and Cricket, thankful her turn was over for now, let her thoughts drift. It was Friday. The fact that Duke was _finally_ taking Shana out on their first official date had been overshadowed in her mind by the fact that she, too, was about to go out on a date.

Her first date.

Ever.

With a boy and everything.

She had spent virtually every night that week on the phone, sometimes with her brother Jack, but mostly with Liz, Jack's wife and her maternal figure. They had spent hours discussing what she was going to wear, what she should do in various scenarios, and just generally being very, very excited. Jack, on the other hand, only wanted to know who he was and how likely he was to get fresh. He was very unimpressed with the idea that Cricket didn't actually know Breaker's name, and wouldn't have been allowed to tell Jack what it was if she _did_ know. Luckily, Liz took the phone away from him before he could really get his lecture on, for which Cricket was eternally grateful.

She was jolted from her reverie when a sharp kick to her ass sent her to the ground. "Wake up, Princess!" hollered Beach Head. "I said, MOVE! Hup hup hup hup hup!" He followed close behind her as she scrambled to her feet and rejoined the others, who were already running towards the obstacle course.

Scarlett watched this from the window in Duke's office. She couldn't argue with Beach Head's results, and she knew that the Joes who came out the other side of his brand of PT would be able to handle pretty much anything. It didn't stop her from positively _loathing_ the man, though. "Why do we need two rangers?"

"Hmm?" asked Duke, not looking up from his morning report.

"We've already got Stalker. Why do we need Beach Head?"

"We have room for more than one ranger. Beach is an excellent drill sergeant. We're lucky to have him."

"Remember the first year? When there only used to be a handful of us? I kinda miss that."

Duke finally looked up and smiled at her. "To be honest, I kinda do, too. But Cobra's growing. We have to grow with them. In fact, don't spread this around, but Hawk tells me they've greenlighted a TON of new recruits. You're gonna have your hands full running background checks."

"How many constitutes a ton?"

"I don't have the number in front of me, but at least a dozen. Probably more than that."

"What's the timeframe?"

"September."

Scarlett went wide-eyed. "What? I'm supposed to compile a dozen background checks in a few months? Do you know how long those things take? When were you going to tell me?"

"Hey, I'm not supposed to be telling you _now_. Hawk's going to want you to work with other people with an Intelligence background to get rolling on this." He tapped tentatively at his keyboard. Scarlett suppressed a smile; Duke was _very_ uncomfortable with computers and always looked somewhat simian when he used one. "Here we go. So, Jaye's primary MOS is in intelligence. She can help. Oh, and it looks like Cricket's secondary MOS is, too."

"Mae? Mae is barely up and running around here, and she has zero background in this kind of thing. And Allie's file may say her primary MOS is intelligence, but you and I both know her practical experience since she got here is in throwing javelins at things."

"Don't shoot the messenger. I'm only telling you what Hawk's going to say. Those are gonna be your resources. Besides, you know Jaye can handle it. She was a counterintelligence expert before she got here, she's done this kind of thing before. Cricket… well, I'm sure you can handle Cricket."

"Humph. Can I tell them?"

"I wasn't even supposed to tell _you_ yet. Do what you need to do, just make sure it doesn't get around."

"I'm grumpy now. You've made me grumpy."

Duke grinned. "What can I do to ungrump you?"

Scarlett smiled back at him. "You can take me out to dinner tonight."

"What a coincidence! As it happens, I _am_ taking you out tonight."

"You can also get me a list of who I need to look into as soon as humanly possible. But, you know, dinner! Yay!"

Later on, Courtney was walking back to her quarters after spending the morning visiting in the motor pool. She hated to admit it, but she really did miss those guys – yes, even Clutch, to some extent – and was anxious for the time when she was going to be able to get back to work. She had been shocked to see how dusty the Wolverine had gotten in her absence, and resolved that the very first thing she was going to do when she started up again next week was to take good and proper care of it.

She noticed a large number of Joes, led by Shipwreck, Alpine and Bazooka, sitting in folding chairs, tailgating, grilling burgers on a portable grill, and just generally looking for all the world like there was something going on that really shouldn't have been. Naturally, this piqued her interest, and she wandered over to the group to find out exactly what was going on.

"Cover Girl!" Shipwreck called out. "C'mere! Pull up a chair! The show's starting!"

"What show? What's going on?"

Torpedo answered with a mouth full of burger, "Ace is taking Cricket on her first Skystriker lesson."

Courtney eagerly found a chair and dragged it up front. The Skystrikers were remarkably easy to fly compared to most fighter jets, and every Joe had to learn how to pilot one. No one did terribly well their first time out, however, and it was usually great fun to watch. Besides, more than anything else, it was a beautiful day, and any excuse to spend time outside was a good one.

And, as always, there was a pool going. This time, everyone was betting on how long the plane would stay in the air. Bets tended to be running rather on the short side; this was, after all, the new kid.

After a while, to much acclaim, the Skystriker could be seen. It handled smoothly and gracefully; clearly Ace was still behind the controls at this point. After a few minutes, it wobbled and flew erratically, meaning that Cricket was obviously now steering her and the timing could begin. Almost before it began, it spun wildly, and the ejector seats were deployed an instant before the jet crashed spectacularly into a mountain. Much cheering ensued.

Rock 'n' Roll collected his winnings, and the tailgating continued for the rest of the afternoon. Joes came and went all day, but mostly stayed; Roadblock and Blowtorch took turns behind the grill, as more and more food came from the kitchens to accommodate everyone. Even Hawk stopped by for a little while, and when Ace and Cricket (barely visible under her enormous flight helmet) finally made their way there after hiking all the way back, Hawk handed them both a burger and said, "Don't let Duke chew you out too much."

"I flew a plane today!" Cricket said cheerfully, munching on her burger.

"Barely. Don't worry," said Ace, "We'll get you there."

"Hey kiddo," said Courtney, carrying a six pack of YoJoe and throwing one to Ace. "You done broke that plane good."

"That was fun! And so was parachuting! The ten mile walk back, not so much. Am I in trouble?"

"I wouldn't worry too much," said Ace. "You crashed a _very_ expensive jet, but it was an older model we use for training and it's not like we don't have a hundred more in the back."

"Yeah," said Courtney. "Duke'll give you a little grief, but nothing serious."

"Let's get it over with now," said Duke from out of nowhere. "Corporal, you crashed a $100 million jet."

Cricket stood ramrod straight, her mouth full. "Yef, fergean'."

"Are you going to do it again?"

She swallowed. "Not intentionally."

"Good enough. I hear you have a big night tonight."

She smiled. "I hear you do too."

"I'm sure you'll compare notes later. This turned into some party," Duke said, changing the subject. "Somewhere Beach Head is having a fit. Where's the music?"

"You think an appearance by the Average Joe Band is in order?" asked Courtney playfully.

Duke stiffened. "The Average Joe Band," he gritted, "is not something of which we speak. God, that was humiliating." He looked at Cricket. "You know, you don't need to be wearing that flight helmet."

Ace sighed. "She won't take it off."

"I flew a plane today!" Cricket repeated, beaming.

Courtney and Mae entered their apartment and saw the message light was flashing on the phone. "Hi girls! It's Liz! Honey, have a great time tonight and be sure to call me when you're home. Courtney, _please_ make sure she showers. Also, don't let her wear a white shirt; she'll spill food on it. Love you! Talk to you soon! Bye!" Beep.

"You heard her, kiddo. Go hose off."

"I showered this morning!"

"I'm pretty sure you didn't, but even so, you had an unscheduled ten mile hike and you smell like butt. Go."

"_You_ smell like butt," Mae muttered under her breath as she stormed off to the bathroom. Courtney could only shake her head. As per usual, the door swung upon without a knock and Allie walked in with Shana following behind her. "Hey, Courtney. Can we borrow some makeup? I'm running low and Shana doesn't have any."

"I don't need makeup," groused Shana. "I never wear it and he's seen me a thousand times without it and –"

"Okay. You asked me to let you know when you were being stupid?"

Big sigh. "I did."

"You're being stupid. Courtney, tell her."

"No one's going to make you look like a clown, Shan," said Courtney. "Just a little bit to bring out your eyes. You'll barely notice it's there. Hey!" she suddenly called out. "I don't hear the water running!" This was followed by the sound of the shower being turned on. "That kid is hopeless. Anyway, Shan, leave it to me. I'm an expert, remember? What are you wearing?"

"Allie's green dress. I wanted to wear my old blue one."

"Your old blue one has to be at least ten years old and is ugly as shit," said Allie, "and, like most of your wardrobe, needs desperately to be burned. The green will look good with your hair and actually has a neckline dating from this millennium."

"The neckline's _really_ low," said Shana doubtfully.

"Good. Give him a look. He's earned it."

Mae, soaking wet and wrapped in an oversized towel, came out to find Courtney carefully applying makeup to Shana. "Oh! Will you do me next?"

"Course I will. Brush your hair first. Did you use the conditioner I left out?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying?"

"… yes."

Courtney smirked. "I'm gonna turn you into a girl if it kills me."

Allie said to Mae, "C'mere. Back to me." Mae sat in front on Allie, who grabbed a brush from the endtable and started combing the tangles out of Mae's hair. "So where's Breaker taking you tonight?"

"I guess we're going someplace called Mad Maggie's and then seeing what's playing at the theater."

"I've been to Maggie's," said Courtney. "Games, pool, pizza. You should have a good time."

"I hope so." She tried not to wince too much as Allie did her best to unsnarl things. "We've been talking a lot this week. I still don't know if I like him that way, but I have fun with him."

"Okay, Shana," Courtney said, "I think we have it. Show the girls."

Shana turned to face Allie and Mae. Courtney had done a spectacular job of highlighting what was already there. "Well?"

"Wow," said Allie. "You look amazing." Mae could only smile and nod happily. Courtney gave Shana a hand mirror out of her bag. "Oh my God," said Shana. "I didn't think that – thank you." She hugged Courtney, then took another look. "Okay. You were right."

"Again?" said Allie.

Shana smiled. "You were right."

An hour later, everyone was in Shana and Allie's apartment, arguing good-naturedly about which shoes Shana should be wearing while they tried to convince her that no, she most definitely should _not_ sport the ponytail that evening.

"It gets in the way of everything!" said Shana, struggling with the dress.

"You're not going into combat, Shana," said Courtney. "You're going out to eat. Leave the hair down."

Almost on cue, there was a knock at the door. "Just a minute!" said Shana. "Shit! I need a minute! Stall!" She pulled Mae, who was still in a towel, into the other room.

Allie opened the door and gasped. There stood Duke, in his best dress greens, hat tucked under his arm. "Good evening, Allie."

"Oh, Duke. You look wonderful." Her voice breaking, Allie fussed with his tie a little. Courtney stood at the far end of the room, her hands over her mouth, trying not to squee, and failing miserably at it.

In the bedroom, Mae was helping Shana get herself together. They had finally adjusted the dress in a way that both were happy with, and Shana was letting Mae fluff her hair a little. "Mae?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to want to hear all about tonight, okay? Are you nervous?"

"A little. Are you?"

"I don't know. I'm excited. But this feels right. But that's okay. It's your turn now. Thank you for helping me. Promise me you'll have a good time."

"I promise." Mae stepped back. "You look beautiful." She really did.

Shana smiled. She held Mae's head with both hands and kissed her on the forehead, the way her dad had always done with her. Mae hugged Shana tight, then said, "C'mon. Let's go get you sent off."

They walked into the living room. Mae was every bit as stunned by the sight of Duke as the others had been, and said, "Oh my God." Shana appeared to be in imminent danger of bursting into tears. "Oh, Conrad."

Duke couldn't take his eyes off of Shana. "You're absolutely beautiful."

"But… but you hate wearing your greens."

"I wanted to look my best for you."

Shana walked up to him and held a hand to his face. She kissed him softly, then deeply, and it was only the very slight embarrassed cough that Mae gave that made her reluctantly break away.

"All right, you two," barked Allie, "Out with you. Not too late, now. Have a great time."

Duke smirked. "I'll bring her home safe."

"See that you do. Go on, out."

After Duke and Shana left, Courtney broke the silence by saying, "Well, I, for one, am deeply jealous. Who knew he cleaned up that well?"

Allie looked at her sadly. Courtney was being flippant, but… "Remember last Christmas? You had your chance."

"No. I never had a chance with him. From the day he got here he's had his eyes on her. That's okay. They belong together. I'm happy for her."

"Courtney…"

"I am. I promise."

Mae was confused. "What happened last Christmas?"

Sitting down, Courtney admitted, "I kissed Duke. It was friendly. Nothing to it. Certainly not what other people have made it out to be."

"Oh." Mae wasn't sure what to say. "Does Shana know?"

"Yeah. We hashed it out. This was back when she was still mooning over him but hadn't done anything about it. I promised her it was friendly and not to listen to what everyone was saying. I swear, there are a bunch of gossiping old hens around here. It was Christmas, we had just finished fighting Cobra, there was a giant parrot flying around, and I was just feeling really warm towards him because I was glad to see him safe."

Allie leaned over and put her hand over Courtney's. "Shana's very, very lucky. In a lot of ways. You've been a really good friend to her during this whole thing. Not everyone in your position would be."

"What? Allie, seriously, I'm fine. I'm happy for her. They d-deserve each other and she can make him h-h-happy." Courtney was crying now. "That's all I want for him."

"I know, honey." Allie held Courtney as Mae looked on. She'd had no idea. She could only watch helplessly as Courtney sobbed into Allie's shoulder.

"No," Courtney said suddenly. "No. This is a good thing. I love Shana and this is a very, very good thing." She wiped her eyes and turned to Mae. "Not a word to Shana. Promise me."

"I won't say anything."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Because all this would do is ruin things for them." She waved her hands at her eyes to dry them out. "Oh, and I was doing so well, too." She sniffed. "C'mon. It's your turn. Let's go get you ready."


End file.
